(All lyrics by Monique van der Kolk. Except "Into the Void" lyrics by Jordi Amela and Monique van der Kolk)

 

INTO THE VOID

 

Contemplating a peaceful view

No roots to hold on to

Waiting for the impossible

I jump into the void

 

 

IT ALL BECOMES CLEARER

 

Footprints in the sand

Must have been erased by now

But something remains there

In the silver sky

Where the wind

Cleaned state of mind

 

Waves from far away

Crashed in and changed point of view

Abandoned castles

Fell apart at night

Clouds travelled fast

And present died

 

Fire on the water

Heartbeat is getting louder

As the green wall comes closer

Closer to the light

 

As the green wall comes closer

As the white noise is left behind

It all becomes clearer

Facing the sun

It all becomes clearer

Facing the sun

 

Out into the deep

Find true relief

Out into the deep

Discover new needs

 

It all becomes clearer

Facing the sun

 

 

THIS DAY

 

Carry me towards the sun

Leave me there until it's gone

I'll stand up and I'll walk

Continue on my own

 

From my fears I came

You're the one to blame

I feel

Nothing will ever be the same

 

Sharp like a razor blade

Fins define the trail I've made

No one can take away

What has brought this day

 

You don't remember but I died

In your sea of tranquillity

I've been afraid all this time

Help me to save my life

 

In a pool of light

Naked and alive

Finally free

Into a new world I deeply dive

 

Sharp like a razor blade

Fins define the trail I've made

No one can take away

What has brought this day

 

I've been rescued from the past

On this day

It's a journey that will last

This new trail

 

 

NORTHERN WIND

 

Lightning up the trees

I can see the branches

Under which you sleep

 

In the morning

There will be no shadows

Clouds are already here

 

Northern wind will chase them away

 

Dimmed voices trapped

Inside a starless night

This moment is just perfect

 

Only a few feet away

Immersed in another life

If only we could stay

 

Northern wind will take us away

 

A new dimension

Simplicity is perfection

A new horizon

Wind gives us directions

 

 

SENDING SIGNALS

 

I want to reach you

Breaking through your walls

Paying all the tolls

I’ll find on my way

Just so I can say

Don't give up the fight

Give it another try

I want to please you

Holding you tight

Flowing with the tides

I want to reach you

 

I'm writing you

With an inkless pen

Writing on the inside

Of a biscuit box

 

I'm calling you

Nothing in my hand

Calling to the outside

With smoke signals

 

How can I ever reach you?

In this world of glass

Fragile as it is

 

How can I ever please you?

This world is a mess

Volatile like a kiss

 

 

SOMETHING'S CHANGING

 

Hold my hands up in the air

Feel the wind through my hair

Something's changing

 

A lifetime with many questions

Everyone is making suggestions

I can feel it raging

 

In my blood, in my heart

 

In the sky silver linings

Those clouds won't rain on me

Golden signs are defying

Concerns finally flee

 

This summer breeze is doing something to me

Can it be that I'm lifted

I can feel it growing

 

In my blood, in my heart

 

In the sky silver linings

Those clouds won't rain on me

Golden signs are defying

Concerns finally flee

 

In the sky is the answer

If I follow all the signs

If I try to get there

It will all be just fine

 

In my blood, in my heart

 

In the sky is the answer

If I follow all the signs

If I try to get there

It will all be just fine

 

 

UNDER THE APRIL SKY

 

Books piled up in the night

Fires burning warm and bright

All those stories never to be told

Hear them laughing, it's getting cold

 

Flashlights everywhere

Beams run up the stairs

Anything will be taken away

Flashlights everywhere

Destroying all they can

Nothing over here is safe

 

Perfect paintings left stains

On walls of desolation

Artists without names

Beaten by their own frustration

 

Flashlights everywhere

Beams run up the stairs

Anything will be taken away

Flashlights everywhere

Destroying all they can

Nothing over here is safe

 

Notes ripped off from staves

Melodies died in a cold war

Dust and wind fill the stage

Blues is playing at the backdoor

 

And it fades away…

 

 

RUSH

 

Daylight shines on his face

Grey shadows turned to colours of May

A king who started to talk to the town

Not being aware anymore of his crown

 

A rush of desire, a rush of love

Someone to admire, someone to love

 

What do you feel when you walk down the stairs?

What do you think when you see her there?

A rush of desire through your veins

A rush of love to kill all the pain

Whispering her name out loud

Surrendering to the crowd

Falling free

Like a stone

 

What do you feel when you walk down the stairs?

What do you think when you see she's not there?

Do you feel relieved?

Is your mind at ease?

 

"I can't breathe, I'm overwhelmed with joy

I can't breathe, my heart's been destroyed

In a blink of an eye things changed"

 

The scent of her skin lingers deep within

Random voices in the hallway won't make hers go away

Sitting on the edge viewing the valley below

This kingdom has burnt down to the ground

 

A rush of fear, a rush of doubts, a rush of worries

Now wear your heavy crown

Stare at this muted town

 

 

TONIGHT

 

Again and again

Every night I have tried to stay awake

 

Tonight is the night

I have prepared myself to travel thousands of miles

I want to see the desert

And jungles from above

To see my life free from hurt

Is probably the one thing I have dreamt of

 

Enough is enough

The road that I have been paving has gotten way too rough

I want to walk on beaches

And swim in rivers remote

Tonight I'm cutting all the leashes

Climbing the mountains that take me home

 

I have been here for all my life

And now it's time to say goodbye

To all those sleepless nights

To incomplete desires

 

Hello world it's you I have been waiting for

It is you I want to explore

Your sky is my limit

I'll be complete in body, mind, soul and spirit

 

 

COLOURS

 

You took your colours into

The wind and moved fast

A free spirit carried away

By dreams and hopes

Surrounded by blue and green

You and the sea

Together with reflections

Of your own bright colours

Surely it was confusing

So you had to let the horses run free

 

The dance with the dolphins just began

 

Magical music took you further

Into deepest depths

Forgetting who you ever were

There you won't be needing anything

 

Run into the deep

Run till you cannot feel

The warmth of the sunbeams

 

Run...

Set yourself free

 

All you've left behind now

Cast the same shadow every single day

Those you've left behind now

Thought they might see you once again

 

You took your colours into the wind

Fast as a bullet

You aimed and fired in a bull's eye

You shot and disappeared

 

Run till you cannot feel

Run till you cannot see

(Lyrics by Monique van der Kolk)

 

ROUNDABOUT

 

The race against the clock has begun

We're drawing circles around the roundabout

Waiting for the magic exit to appear

Got to get there before sundown

 

Before the water of the fountains is frozen

like the face of a porcelain doll

Before birds that once were flying

become pictures hanging on a cloudy wall

 

Through the trees a winding path

Colourful landscapes on the background

A silver gate welcomes us with open arms

We want to embrace eternity

 

Embrace the smile of the wind to calm our anxiety

Forgetting patience is our only remedy

Embrace our laughter while we're flying free

Time is not the answer to our questions anymore

 

This is all we ever wanted

no more racing

no more aching

no more blaming

no more facing

Forget all (forget all, forget all) we ever needed

Eternal sunlight warms our garden

Cloudless sky is our guardian

 

The scenario is spinning around in a giant roulette

Sounds and shadows running behind us at full speed

Pills of hope are shaking our souls for the final destination

That lies behind the hidden gate

 

 

 

INTUITION

 

Suddenly I was put on hold

For some days, some weeks or more

My bright sense of direction

Warned me my past was coming closer

I ran through dusty pages

Went far back in time

To a chapter with empty phrases

Where the ink already dried

 

Some words were coming from a mouth

That had no idea what they meant

It's so simple to rephrase a story

That left me in a pitch black room

 

There is no dirt on my hands

My conscience is clean everyday

Today is like an empty canvas

That I can quietly paint again

The brushstrokes and the colours

won't distort yesterday

Because me and my intuition

We will always be awake

 

Some words were coming from a mouth

That had no idea what they meant

It is so simple to judge a painting

But I was left in a pitch black room

 

Intuition!

 

 

 

THE MACHINE

 

Lights burn in the garden shed

He can see his fathers' silhouette

Walk from one side to another

swinging tools of fire

"What's he building this time?"

The boy wonders eagerly

 

He wants to see what's inside

Take a look behind

the door that separates them

from being united

 

In his eyes he's a genius

working on a secret

Sure one day he will reveal

Barefooted he leaves his room

Trying hard to make no sound

As he walks to the forbidden kingdom

 

He wants to see what's inside

Take a look behind

the door that separates them

from being united

 

37 steps it takes

uncontrollable shaking of his legs

small and sweaty hands reach out

Even tough he knows that he's not allowed

 

A device of old scrap metal in the shed

Blinding lightning shows the shape of his dad

Trapped behind the iron door that's firmly closed

While the threshold coughs up thick and grey smoke

 

Kicking at the door he starts to scream:

"I have to set you free!"

Through the small window he can see

the broken face and weary eyes

as if to say goodbye the lips move and pronounce:

"I wanted you to be proud!"

 

 

 

TIME LAPSE

 

Inside the hourglass time is tumbling

inside the hourglass rages a sandstorm

how come we didn't see the dust arise

how did we survive through turbid skies

 

In the looking-glass space is speeding

the looking-glass reflects a time-lapse

why didn't we rewind to erase the pain

how did we walk through broken frames

 

how many nights do we have to stay here

and how many times do we have to try

 

Our time's like a burning candle

when it flickers in the dark

We're trying to catch a spark

We're still trying to brighten the flame

 

How many nights do we have to stay here

and how many times do we have to try

how many nights do we have to stay here

and how many times do we have to try and try

 

Fighting back the tears in our eyes

as we're finding out there's nowhere to hide

 

Hey, didn't we already think so

It's okay, we must try to let go

 

 

 

IN DEBRIS

 

Hovering above myself

Mist escapes from my lips

I mutter in the darkness

"Is this all there's left?"

 

A broken code

A damaged home

Imperfections on the floor

Close my eyes, so I can't see

Incomplete sight of us

Words of comfort are unspoken

Soundless thoughts I can't bear

 

Silent tears collapse in my mouth

Swallow the cold bitter pain

I mutter in the darkness

"Is this all there's left?"

 

A broken code

A damaged home

Imperfections on the floor

Close my eyes, so I can't see

Incomplete sight of us

Words of comfort are unspoken

Soundless thoughts I can't bear

 

Is this all there's left...

Is this all there's left...

 

Broken soul

Damaged truth

I am standing in debris

Cover me so I can't feel

Open wounds cry out for cure

Shadows whispering your name

Heartless sounds I can't bear

 

 

 

YESTERYEAR

 

A name is written below the window

that opened new life some October long ago

Nostalgia immortalized in stone

 

A nine-yeared upside down in the lawn

innocent feet are pointing at the sun

On the skyline is waiting the unknown

 

Yesterday’s flashes

Suddenly older

Another one’s childhood

 

A smile runs through an endless street

the sound of a laughing voice is lost in the wind

Forgotten child inside a storm

 

Pictures of the past

Where has the time gone?

Yesteryear’s voices

 

 

 

UNKNOWN SKYLINES

 

Astray in nameless territory

Without any hope nor trust in

Finding back old glory

One minute can last a lifetime

When view doesn't reach much higher

Than stranger's feet marching

On pavement where seasons fade

 

Against the wall

Stuck between the past and present

One hand raised

Palm facing unknown skylines

Reaching out for help

 

Tongue-tied no connection to this world

Absent minded staring into distance

Waiting for a saviour to come

 

Against the wall

Stuck between the past and present

One hand raised

Palm facing unknown skylines

Reaching out for help

 

Random gaze, from grim faces

Hollow eyes, it's amity in disguise

Seasons fading, a lifetime spent waiting

 

 

 

SILENT RUN

 

She didn't have no rights

Cause he possessed her life

A foe he was to her

Desperate to leave

 

She couldn't pay the bail

He made her feel frail

 

No one knew about the pain in her soul

Couldn't find support in her own flesh and blood

His jealousy blew out

the fire in her heart

 

Her life was a nightmare

He didn't care

 

Her heart turned into stone

He broke their home

 

Tired of a never ending fight

Decided to chase her dreams

Into the deep dark night

She took her memories

Counting the days on her hands

Slowly they became weeks

Silence became a best friend

On a never ending journey

 

Dreams of an aging man

Memories fading while she ran

Weeks turned into years

On a journey without tears

 

 

 

STARS

 

A blanket of bright stars

Keeps me warm at night

I close my eyes and make a wish

Towards those stars I fly

 

Sense of sight is getting weaker

Emptiness is going deeper

As I lose track of the distance

Between you and me

 

On your earth I grew

For years so true

All what's left for me is the warmth

of your memory inside my heart

 

I can still feel the rain, feel I'm far away

 

Guide me home, my stars

 

I can still feel the rain

I feel I'm far away

Guide me home, my stars

(Lyrics by Monique van der Kolk)

 

AUTUMN LEAVES

 

You hold the door and let me in

Inside your garden feathery shapes

Raise their wings fly away.

You feel my skin I hold my breath

Gasping for an inch of air

In newborn waves

Everywhere I go you are on my mind

Gotta take it slow even though I try

Noone else but you

Summer clouds draw a path

Right through the autumn leaves

From the highest heights they fall on the water

Autumn leaves halfway August

When the ocean is between us

Days apart miles away still no distance

On the road peace of mind

Yearning's taking over us

Catch me when I fall

The day has gone night is long

In your arms I fall asleep

Don't wake me tomorrow

Everywhere I go you are on my mind

Gotta take it slow even though I try

Noone else but you

Summer clouds draw a path

Right through the autumn leaves

From the highest heights they fall on the water

Autumn leaves halfway August

When the ocean is between us

Days apart miles away still no distance

 

 

BEYOND THE DESERT

 

The sky was yours

The sky was mine

Sun is cold

Clouds are dry

Stumbling over frozen love I watch the world I have above

Wondering why you took away the ground under my feet

Hanging on the strings you hold, watch them fade as I grow old

I wonder why you had the urge to step out of the light

The sea was deep

The sea was blue

Islands sank

So did you

My sea has no tides…

Protect myself from stinging sand look down at my empty hands

Wondering why I didn't search for shelter over my head

waiting for the rain to fall I need to rinse away the soil

I wonder how I could ever lose direction by following stars

The desert is wide

The desert is seared

Illusions dwell

Must say farewell

 

 

NO RETURN

 

It's time to start over, once again

I have arrived at the point of no return

This is the end

Alone again

I need a place to rest my head, have to drag myself out of this bed

I have no love

You're gone again

I'm drifting on a long lost memory, it's time to leave behind the armoury

And find some rest

On my own again

 

 

THE STORY OF TIM BALLAS

 

The man beneath the clouds

Was wandering alone

Didn’t know his desires

All he ever lived for

Vanished in one day

Didn’t know how to handle

On a dark and cold spring night he started to run

Got lost in a sea stream

All his memories burned

Swept away by the power of a false helping hand

Now he’s no one, just one lost soul in space

Floating through corners of his mind

Nothing that takes him back to who he was

Caught up inside her golden cage

Playing the game of life

Now the years have passed

Everything’s a lie

But he knows he is sentenced

Every now and then

He dreams of how things were

But he knows that is past tense

So he made a decision he wanted to smile

Needed something worth fighting

A new born life

Swept away by the power of a tiny child’s hand

Now he’s someone, still one lost soul in space

Floating through corners of his mind

Nothing that takes him back to who he was

Caught up inside her golden cage

Playing the game of life

Sometimes he wakes op and finds himself

In a strange situation he never thought would be

When people around look in his eyes

They just see an empty life

 

 

MARA

 

Looking in the mirror of your eyes

Tell me am I an angel in disguise?

I can tell you dread what you don’t see

But I won’t show you the real me

Don’t struggle now you are mine

I have the power and you’re paralyzed

Don’t speak using words is a misuse

Of breath you’ll need until your death

Possessed by temporary madness

A beating heart bangs on your chest

Nothing you can do no one will hear

It’s only me who can smell the fear

Panic’s weight leans on your back

A shivering touch nails in your neck

Don’t defend using strength is a misuse

Of breath you’ll need until your death

You can run as hard as you want

But I will always catch up

Wishing to escape from desires’ hands

Knowing there will be no second chance

Don’t look back or you will fall

Let me say this is your last trial

Why don’t you give into this fate?

And I’ll show you the corners of space

Don’t hesitate cause to doubt is a misuse

Of breath you’ll need until your death

You can run as hard as you want

But I will always catch up

Leave you with no sin

Show the fire burning within

Close your eyes and rest

I’ll be your nocturnal guest

 

 

CHANGE LIFE

 

Stop in the middle of two worlds

Llight a cigarette

Smoke becomes one with the fumes on the left

Where speed limit is crossed

By thousands who don't want to be late

For whatever's waiting, whoever's waiting.

While rearview mirrors show thousands of tired faces

Always rushing though never arriving somewhere

No sense in being a part of this all

Make a choice this might be a last call

Hands of time never stop...

Life seems so much easier on the other side

In a carefree paralell universe

Turn around, live life on the right

Turn around, live from day to day

Turn around, no more sleepless nights

Turn around, no more shades of gray

See the path to follow, cut the leash!

Feel the sunlight embracing ice-cold skin!

Hear the sounds of silence through the trees!

Scent of green grass is calling!

Start the engine

Leave the layby

And drive back to the highway...

 

 

POST DISASTER

 

The night throws a shadow over land

The moon is covered with a veil of smoke

Children play in de dark while mothers cry

Children play in the park while brothers die

A fire’s still burning on ash

The sky is black as hell

Rain won’t wash pain away

I can dream of a better place...

 

 

THE HORIZON

 

Got a dark cloud in my pocket

There's a stone inside my shoe

And a fire is burning on the road.

Should I turn or should I follow

I see the signs but read no words

Headlights on the other side are blurring my view

When looking back over my shoulder scattered dreams decay

Confusing echoes resound against iron walls

Still I move on and won't stop this journey to the future

No matter how high the fall wings grow stronger

Seems I'm always swimming upstream

Current slits remembering

windspeed eight is aiming at my heart

Did I turn or did I follow?

Prints I left are overlayed

It doesn't matter anymore

I won't look back

Black and white snapshots languish, unsent letters crumble

Spoken words of hope have lost all of their meaning

So I move on and won't stop, this journey to the future

No matter how high the fall wings grow stronger

Won't stop to look at scattered dreams, will look forward to the horizon

 

 

SHE TRIES

 

If you watch her carefully there is so much you can see

Hidden anger, concealed sadness emotions needing to be suppressed

At times the finish gets off track because it's so easy to fall back

Her limbs become weight of concrete because reminding him is so sweet

She tries to find her place

So she sets for another destiny in search for relief of agony

Trading the tears for a half smile hoping she won't be noticed for a while

She tries to find her place to get her through the days…

 

 

NIGHT COMES DOWN

 

I'm the one who should look at you through the rays of light at the morning ritual

But instead I find myself searching for a meaningless reason why I am not

Your harsh voice and your cruel words put an end to an impossible dream

I once dreamed of you and me

Your lips touched my hand

I cannot understand

Your presence lingers when the night comes down on these narrow streets where we once hid

Nights are never ending, reveries keep me from sleeping, won't allow me to take off tomorrow.

Days become weeks but time won't stop the gap from being a constant stalker

I'm sick of being followed

At the end of this day

All dreams will drown when the night comes down

 

 

INTERRUPTED BROADCAST

 

Behind the white noise there's a whole new world

Waiting, aiming

A drug for innocent minds luring to decay

Waiting, claiming

Is the mind scanning the idiot box?

Or does the box scan the idiot mind?

Perfect examples of how things shouldn't be

Welcome to the new school

Careless shituations

Sex at five pm

Brainfarts stain the screen

Open-heart surgeries

Violent animation

This is today's education

Toxic explosions infect childhood

Virtual existence absorbs imagination

Wrong ideas are given to kill spare time

Careless shituations

Sex at five pm

Brainfarts stain the screen

Open-heart surgeries

Violent animation

This is today's education

Detachment from reality

Disconnected from society

Braindead is leading new life

No social activity

Absolute passivity

Braindead is leading new life