(All lyrics by Monique van der Kolk. Except "Into the Void" lyrics by Jordi Amela and Monique van der Kolk)
INTO THE VOID
Contemplating a peaceful view
No roots to hold on to
Waiting for the impossible
I jump into the void
IT ALL BECOMES CLEARER
Footprints in the sand
Must have been erased by now
But something remains there
In the silver sky
Where the wind
Cleaned state of mind
Waves from far away
Crashed in and changed point of view
Abandoned castles
Fell apart at night
Clouds travelled fast
And present died
Fire on the water
Heartbeat is getting louder
As the green wall comes closer
Closer to the light
As the green wall comes closer
As the white noise is left behind
It all becomes clearer
Facing the sun
It all becomes clearer
Facing the sun
Out into the deep
Find true relief
Out into the deep
Discover new needs
It all becomes clearer
Facing the sun
THIS DAY
Carry me towards the sun
Leave me there until it's gone
I'll stand up and I'll walk
Continue on my own
From my fears I came
You're the one to blame
I feel
Nothing will ever be the same
Sharp like a razor blade
Fins define the trail I've made
No one can take away
What has brought this day
You don't remember but I died
In your sea of tranquillity
I've been afraid all this time
Help me to save my life
In a pool of light
Naked and alive
Finally free
Into a new world I deeply dive
Sharp like a razor blade
Fins define the trail I've made
No one can take away
What has brought this day
I've been rescued from the past
On this day
It's a journey that will last
This new trail
NORTHERN WIND
Lightning up the trees
I can see the branches
Under which you sleep
In the morning
There will be no shadows
Clouds are already here
Northern wind will chase them away
Dimmed voices trapped
Inside a starless night
This moment is just perfect
Only a few feet away
Immersed in another life
If only we could stay
Northern wind will take us away
A new dimension
Simplicity is perfection
A new horizon
Wind gives us directions
SENDING SIGNALS
I want to reach you
Breaking through your walls
Paying all the tolls
I’ll find on my way
Just so I can say
Don't give up the fight
Give it another try
I want to please you
Holding you tight
Flowing with the tides
I want to reach you
I'm writing you
With an inkless pen
Writing on the inside
Of a biscuit box
I'm calling you
Nothing in my hand
Calling to the outside
With smoke signals
How can I ever reach you?
In this world of glass
Fragile as it is
How can I ever please you?
This world is a mess
Volatile like a kiss
SOMETHING'S CHANGING
Hold my hands up in the air
Feel the wind through my hair
Something's changing
A lifetime with many questions
Everyone is making suggestions
I can feel it raging
In my blood, in my heart
In the sky silver linings
Those clouds won't rain on me
Golden signs are defying
Concerns finally flee
This summer breeze is doing something to me
Can it be that I'm lifted
I can feel it growing
In my blood, in my heart
In the sky silver linings
Those clouds won't rain on me
Golden signs are defying
Concerns finally flee
In the sky is the answer
If I follow all the signs
If I try to get there
It will all be just fine
In my blood, in my heart
In the sky is the answer
If I follow all the signs
If I try to get there
It will all be just fine
UNDER THE APRIL SKY
Books piled up in the night
Fires burning warm and bright
All those stories never to be told
Hear them laughing, it's getting cold
Flashlights everywhere
Beams run up the stairs
Anything will be taken away
Flashlights everywhere
Destroying all they can
Nothing over here is safe
Perfect paintings left stains
On walls of desolation
Artists without names
Beaten by their own frustration
Flashlights everywhere
Beams run up the stairs
Anything will be taken away
Flashlights everywhere
Destroying all they can
Nothing over here is safe
Notes ripped off from staves
Melodies died in a cold war
Dust and wind fill the stage
Blues is playing at the backdoor
And it fades away…
RUSH
Daylight shines on his face
Grey shadows turned to colours of May
A king who started to talk to the town
Not being aware anymore of his crown
A rush of desire, a rush of love
Someone to admire, someone to love
What do you feel when you walk down the stairs?
What do you think when you see her there?
A rush of desire through your veins
A rush of love to kill all the pain
Whispering her name out loud
Surrendering to the crowd
Falling free
Like a stone
What do you feel when you walk down the stairs?
What do you think when you see she's not there?
Do you feel relieved?
Is your mind at ease?
"I can't breathe, I'm overwhelmed with joy
I can't breathe, my heart's been destroyed
In a blink of an eye things changed"
The scent of her skin lingers deep within
Random voices in the hallway won't make hers go away
Sitting on the edge viewing the valley below
This kingdom has burnt down to the ground
A rush of fear, a rush of doubts, a rush of worries
Now wear your heavy crown
Stare at this muted town
TONIGHT
Again and again
Every night I have tried to stay awake
Tonight is the night
I have prepared myself to travel thousands of miles
I want to see the desert
And jungles from above
To see my life free from hurt
Is probably the one thing I have dreamt of
Enough is enough
The road that I have been paving has gotten way too rough
I want to walk on beaches
And swim in rivers remote
Tonight I'm cutting all the leashes
Climbing the mountains that take me home
I have been here for all my life
And now it's time to say goodbye
To all those sleepless nights
To incomplete desires
Hello world it's you I have been waiting for
It is you I want to explore
Your sky is my limit
I'll be complete in body, mind, soul and spirit
COLOURS
You took your colours into
The wind and moved fast
A free spirit carried away
By dreams and hopes
Surrounded by blue and green
You and the sea
Together with reflections
Of your own bright colours
Surely it was confusing
So you had to let the horses run free
The dance with the dolphins just began
Magical music took you further
Into deepest depths
Forgetting who you ever were
There you won't be needing anything
Run into the deep
Run till you cannot feel
The warmth of the sunbeams
Run...
Set yourself free
All you've left behind now
Cast the same shadow every single day
Those you've left behind now
Thought they might see you once again
You took your colours into the wind
Fast as a bullet
You aimed and fired in a bull's eye
You shot and disappeared
Run till you cannot feel
Run till you cannot see
(Lyrics by Monique van der Kolk)
ROUNDABOUT
The race against the clock has begun
We're drawing circles around the roundabout
Waiting for the magic exit to appear
Got to get there before sundown
Before the water of the fountains is frozen
like the face of a porcelain doll
Before birds that once were flying
become pictures hanging on a cloudy wall
Through the trees a winding path
Colourful landscapes on the background
A silver gate welcomes us with open arms
We want to embrace eternity
Embrace the smile of the wind to calm our anxiety
Forgetting patience is our only remedy
Embrace our laughter while we're flying free
Time is not the answer to our questions anymore
This is all we ever wanted
no more racing
no more aching
no more blaming
no more facing
Forget all (forget all, forget all) we ever needed
Eternal sunlight warms our garden
Cloudless sky is our guardian
The scenario is spinning around in a giant roulette
Sounds and shadows running behind us at full speed
Pills of hope are shaking our souls for the final destination
That lies behind the hidden gate
INTUITION
Suddenly I was put on hold
For some days, some weeks or more
My bright sense of direction
Warned me my past was coming closer
I ran through dusty pages
Went far back in time
To a chapter with empty phrases
Where the ink already dried
Some words were coming from a mouth
That had no idea what they meant
It's so simple to rephrase a story
That left me in a pitch black room
There is no dirt on my hands
My conscience is clean everyday
Today is like an empty canvas
That I can quietly paint again
The brushstrokes and the colours
won't distort yesterday
Because me and my intuition
We will always be awake
Some words were coming from a mouth
That had no idea what they meant
It is so simple to judge a painting
But I was left in a pitch black room
Intuition!
THE MACHINE
Lights burn in the garden shed
He can see his fathers' silhouette
Walk from one side to another
swinging tools of fire
"What's he building this time?"
The boy wonders eagerly
He wants to see what's inside
Take a look behind
the door that separates them
from being united
In his eyes he's a genius
working on a secret
Sure one day he will reveal
Barefooted he leaves his room
Trying hard to make no sound
As he walks to the forbidden kingdom
He wants to see what's inside
Take a look behind
the door that separates them
from being united
37 steps it takes
uncontrollable shaking of his legs
small and sweaty hands reach out
Even tough he knows that he's not allowed
A device of old scrap metal in the shed
Blinding lightning shows the shape of his dad
Trapped behind the iron door that's firmly closed
While the threshold coughs up thick and grey smoke
Kicking at the door he starts to scream:
"I have to set you free!"
Through the small window he can see
the broken face and weary eyes
as if to say goodbye the lips move and pronounce:
"I wanted you to be proud!"
TIME LAPSE
Inside the hourglass time is tumbling
inside the hourglass rages a sandstorm
how come we didn't see the dust arise
how did we survive through turbid skies
In the looking-glass space is speeding
the looking-glass reflects a time-lapse
why didn't we rewind to erase the pain
how did we walk through broken frames
how many nights do we have to stay here
and how many times do we have to try
Our time's like a burning candle
when it flickers in the dark
We're trying to catch a spark
We're still trying to brighten the flame
How many nights do we have to stay here
and how many times do we have to try
how many nights do we have to stay here
and how many times do we have to try and try
Fighting back the tears in our eyes
as we're finding out there's nowhere to hide
Hey, didn't we already think so
It's okay, we must try to let go
IN DEBRIS
Hovering above myself
Mist escapes from my lips
I mutter in the darkness
"Is this all there's left?"
A broken code
A damaged home
Imperfections on the floor
Close my eyes, so I can't see
Incomplete sight of us
Words of comfort are unspoken
Soundless thoughts I can't bear
Silent tears collapse in my mouth
Swallow the cold bitter pain
I mutter in the darkness
"Is this all there's left?"
A broken code
A damaged home
Imperfections on the floor
Close my eyes, so I can't see
Incomplete sight of us
Words of comfort are unspoken
Soundless thoughts I can't bear
Is this all there's left...
Is this all there's left...
Broken soul
Damaged truth
I am standing in debris
Cover me so I can't feel
Open wounds cry out for cure
Shadows whispering your name
Heartless sounds I can't bear
YESTERYEAR
A name is written below the window
that opened new life some October long ago
Nostalgia immortalized in stone
A nine-yeared upside down in the lawn
innocent feet are pointing at the sun
On the skyline is waiting the unknown
Yesterday’s flashes
Suddenly older
Another one’s childhood
A smile runs through an endless street
the sound of a laughing voice is lost in the wind
Forgotten child inside a storm
Pictures of the past
Where has the time gone?
Yesteryear’s voices
UNKNOWN SKYLINES
Astray in nameless territory
Without any hope nor trust in
Finding back old glory
One minute can last a lifetime
When view doesn't reach much higher
Than stranger's feet marching
On pavement where seasons fade
Against the wall
Stuck between the past and present
One hand raised
Palm facing unknown skylines
Reaching out for help
Tongue-tied no connection to this world
Absent minded staring into distance
Waiting for a saviour to come
Against the wall
Stuck between the past and present
One hand raised
Palm facing unknown skylines
Reaching out for help
Random gaze, from grim faces
Hollow eyes, it's amity in disguise
Seasons fading, a lifetime spent waiting
SILENT RUN
She didn't have no rights
Cause he possessed her life
A foe he was to her
Desperate to leave
She couldn't pay the bail
He made her feel frail
No one knew about the pain in her soul
Couldn't find support in her own flesh and blood
His jealousy blew out
the fire in her heart
Her life was a nightmare
He didn't care
Her heart turned into stone
He broke their home
Tired of a never ending fight
Decided to chase her dreams
Into the deep dark night
She took her memories
Counting the days on her hands
Slowly they became weeks
Silence became a best friend
On a never ending journey
Dreams of an aging man
Memories fading while she ran
Weeks turned into years
On a journey without tears
STARS
A blanket of bright stars
Keeps me warm at night
I close my eyes and make a wish
Towards those stars I fly
Sense of sight is getting weaker
Emptiness is going deeper
As I lose track of the distance
Between you and me
On your earth I grew
For years so true
All what's left for me is the warmth
of your memory inside my heart
I can still feel the rain, feel I'm far away
Guide me home, my stars
I can still feel the rain
I feel I'm far away
Guide me home, my stars
(Lyrics by Monique van der Kolk)
AUTUMN LEAVES
You hold the door and let me in
Inside your garden feathery shapes
Raise their wings fly away.
You feel my skin I hold my breath
Gasping for an inch of air
In newborn waves
Everywhere I go you are on my mind
Gotta take it slow even though I try
Noone else but you
Summer clouds draw a path
Right through the autumn leaves
From the highest heights they fall on the water
Autumn leaves halfway August
When the ocean is between us
Days apart miles away still no distance
On the road peace of mind
Yearning's taking over us
Catch me when I fall
The day has gone night is long
In your arms I fall asleep
Don't wake me tomorrow
Everywhere I go you are on my mind
Gotta take it slow even though I try
Noone else but you
Summer clouds draw a path
Right through the autumn leaves
From the highest heights they fall on the water
Autumn leaves halfway August
When the ocean is between us
Days apart miles away still no distance
BEYOND THE DESERT
The sky was yours
The sky was mine
Sun is cold
Clouds are dry
Stumbling over frozen love I watch the world I have above
Wondering why you took away the ground under my feet
Hanging on the strings you hold, watch them fade as I grow old
I wonder why you had the urge to step out of the light
The sea was deep
The sea was blue
Islands sank
So did you
My sea has no tides…
Protect myself from stinging sand look down at my empty hands
Wondering why I didn't search for shelter over my head
waiting for the rain to fall I need to rinse away the soil
I wonder how I could ever lose direction by following stars
The desert is wide
The desert is seared
Illusions dwell
Must say farewell
NO RETURN
It's time to start over, once again
I have arrived at the point of no return
This is the end
Alone again
I need a place to rest my head, have to drag myself out of this bed
I have no love
You're gone again
I'm drifting on a long lost memory, it's time to leave behind the armoury
And find some rest
On my own again
THE STORY OF TIM BALLAS
The man beneath the clouds
Was wandering alone
Didn’t know his desires
All he ever lived for
Vanished in one day
Didn’t know how to handle
On a dark and cold spring night he started to run
Got lost in a sea stream
All his memories burned
Swept away by the power of a false helping hand
Now he’s no one, just one lost soul in space
Floating through corners of his mind
Nothing that takes him back to who he was
Caught up inside her golden cage
Playing the game of life
Now the years have passed
Everything’s a lie
But he knows he is sentenced
Every now and then
He dreams of how things were
But he knows that is past tense
So he made a decision he wanted to smile
Needed something worth fighting
A new born life
Swept away by the power of a tiny child’s hand
Now he’s someone, still one lost soul in space
Floating through corners of his mind
Nothing that takes him back to who he was
Caught up inside her golden cage
Playing the game of life
Sometimes he wakes op and finds himself
In a strange situation he never thought would be
When people around look in his eyes
They just see an empty life
MARA
Looking in the mirror of your eyes
Tell me am I an angel in disguise?
I can tell you dread what you don’t see
But I won’t show you the real me
Don’t struggle now you are mine
I have the power and you’re paralyzed
Don’t speak using words is a misuse
Of breath you’ll need until your death
Possessed by temporary madness
A beating heart bangs on your chest
Nothing you can do no one will hear
It’s only me who can smell the fear
Panic’s weight leans on your back
A shivering touch nails in your neck
Don’t defend using strength is a misuse
Of breath you’ll need until your death
You can run as hard as you want
But I will always catch up
Wishing to escape from desires’ hands
Knowing there will be no second chance
Don’t look back or you will fall
Let me say this is your last trial
Why don’t you give into this fate?
And I’ll show you the corners of space
Don’t hesitate cause to doubt is a misuse
Of breath you’ll need until your death
You can run as hard as you want
But I will always catch up
Leave you with no sin
Show the fire burning within
Close your eyes and rest
I’ll be your nocturnal guest
CHANGE LIFE
Stop in the middle of two worlds
Llight a cigarette
Smoke becomes one with the fumes on the left
Where speed limit is crossed
By thousands who don't want to be late
For whatever's waiting, whoever's waiting.
While rearview mirrors show thousands of tired faces
Always rushing though never arriving somewhere
No sense in being a part of this all
Make a choice this might be a last call
Hands of time never stop...
Life seems so much easier on the other side
In a carefree paralell universe
Turn around, live life on the right
Turn around, live from day to day
Turn around, no more sleepless nights
Turn around, no more shades of gray
See the path to follow, cut the leash!
Feel the sunlight embracing ice-cold skin!
Hear the sounds of silence through the trees!
Scent of green grass is calling!
Start the engine
Leave the layby
And drive back to the highway...
POST DISASTER
The night throws a shadow over land
The moon is covered with a veil of smoke
Children play in de dark while mothers cry
Children play in the park while brothers die
A fire’s still burning on ash
The sky is black as hell
Rain won’t wash pain away
I can dream of a better place...
THE HORIZON
Got a dark cloud in my pocket
There's a stone inside my shoe
And a fire is burning on the road.
Should I turn or should I follow
I see the signs but read no words
Headlights on the other side are blurring my view
When looking back over my shoulder scattered dreams decay
Confusing echoes resound against iron walls
Still I move on and won't stop this journey to the future
No matter how high the fall wings grow stronger
Seems I'm always swimming upstream
Current slits remembering
windspeed eight is aiming at my heart
Did I turn or did I follow?
Prints I left are overlayed
It doesn't matter anymore
I won't look back
Black and white snapshots languish, unsent letters crumble
Spoken words of hope have lost all of their meaning
So I move on and won't stop, this journey to the future
No matter how high the fall wings grow stronger
Won't stop to look at scattered dreams, will look forward to the horizon
SHE TRIES
If you watch her carefully there is so much you can see
Hidden anger, concealed sadness emotions needing to be suppressed
At times the finish gets off track because it's so easy to fall back
Her limbs become weight of concrete because reminding him is so sweet
She tries to find her place
So she sets for another destiny in search for relief of agony
Trading the tears for a half smile hoping she won't be noticed for a while
She tries to find her place to get her through the days…
NIGHT COMES DOWN
I'm the one who should look at you through the rays of light at the morning ritual
But instead I find myself searching for a meaningless reason why I am not
Your harsh voice and your cruel words put an end to an impossible dream
I once dreamed of you and me
Your lips touched my hand
I cannot understand
Your presence lingers when the night comes down on these narrow streets where we once hid
Nights are never ending, reveries keep me from sleeping, won't allow me to take off tomorrow.
Days become weeks but time won't stop the gap from being a constant stalker
I'm sick of being followed
At the end of this day
All dreams will drown when the night comes down
INTERRUPTED BROADCAST
Behind the white noise there's a whole new world
Waiting, aiming
A drug for innocent minds luring to decay
Waiting, claiming
Is the mind scanning the idiot box?
Or does the box scan the idiot mind?
Perfect examples of how things shouldn't be
Welcome to the new school
Careless shituations
Sex at five pm
Brainfarts stain the screen
Open-heart surgeries
Violent animation
This is today's education
Toxic explosions infect childhood
Virtual existence absorbs imagination
Wrong ideas are given to kill spare time
Careless shituations
Sex at five pm
Brainfarts stain the screen
Open-heart surgeries
Violent animation
This is today's education
Detachment from reality
Disconnected from society
Braindead is leading new life
No social activity
Absolute passivity
Braindead is leading new life